Let me feel it all!
It's 2:19 am and I've found a corner on the outside deck that has the breeze blowing across my face and I can hear the waves crashing against the ship.
Almost sounds romantic until I think about the fact that I just left Red Carpet from a night of mediocre dancing and feeling sorry for myself. Not to mention that there are lonely tears falling down my face as I type this. There are times where I feel an immense sadness of being single - but mostly alone and this cruise has highlighted those feelings today. I am generally considered the life of the party. And no, I'm not tooting my own horn. I am great at breaking the ice and making new friends most days and anyone will tell you the same.
Tonight however, though surrounded by new friends I've made while being on the cruise, I have found myself feeling that empty feeling. The feeling of wishing I was here with someone special. The last 3 weeks have been a whirlwind of fun, alcoholic drinks and new faces and friends. I've had the time of my life celebrating my 25th birthday- but sometimes I can't help but wish I was creating these memories with someone who I can remember them with in a few years while I'm laying my head on his chest. I used to believe that there was something wrong with feeling this way-- of being so alive and surrounded by others and yet somehow feeling a bit hollow and alone--but now I know there's not. I'm learning to allow myself to experience my feelings versus letting them take me over. Sometimes my emotions are like having a bottle of soda that has been shaken up. If you open it up -- even a little , it's a big mess. So I'm learning to let the fizz settle some before opening it up, but also realizing that you don't have to throw it away just because it was shaken. Feelings are fleeting, and with that understanding I've allowed myself the opportunity to feel it all- which is a beautiul way to live. How do you let yourself feel it all? Feel free to comment below!