• Rae Williams

Too Big;Too Small;Life In The Middle

It’s so interesting to be my current size. I’m a jean size 12 (yikes, a lady just gave announced her jean size in public. So what??). But depending on the cut and stretch of the jean, it’s not unusual for me to wear a size 10-16. It really just depends. This is annoying in itself because when I’m not familiar with a brand, the option of not trying jeans on is, in fact not an option.

That’s annoying about my size, but you know what’s SUPER annoying about my size?? 

“Looking smaller”. It’s such a hassle to hear that. Or to know when people think it.

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and we would assume that with the plus industry on the come up people would realize that by now.

But, no! 

My hips are narrow, which gives me the apparent appearance of looking more like a size 8, which is not within my size range by the way!

That’s what I’ve heard in the entertainment industry.

Then, when it’s time for the gym...I’m always asked if I’m sure I’ll be able to manage a particular exercise, or people are genuinely shocked to hear that I’m a frequent gym-goer and not just starting up some type of regimen to lose weight and “get skinny”. 

In my mind, this all goes along with the general idea of taking up space. Of asserting myself. Of not shrinking from who and ultimately what we, and myself - as an individual- are. 

My personality is large, no matter my jean size, and without saying the stigma that losing weight changes your life ties into the idea that you’ll go from being loud and boisterous as a larger girl, to dainty and a damsel, because you’re smaller. Hasn’t happened for me. And without hesiatation, it never will.

I’m hopeful however that as times continue to change, the concept of body acceptance and body shapes will continue to be more and more accepting.

Especially for my girls who are inbetweenies like myself.

Keep being yourself love, the world needs all of us 🙏🏽 

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